- 02:31 – 07:15: Terry shares insights on the power of mindset and overcoming challenges.
- 07:16 – 13:45: Importance of surrounding oneself with a supportive network for personal growth.
- 13:46 – 18:20: Terry’s principle of “thinking with fears and insecurities” and its impact on decision-making.
- Website: https://www.motivationalcheck.com/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCl2CUA6R1zP2ZcjzhzGKWkQ
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/terry-tucker-9b5605179/
- Contact Number: 843-619-3005
- Email: corwyn@corwynmelette.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/exitstrategiesradioshow/
- FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/exitstrategiessc/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoSuynJd5c4qQ_eDXLJaZA
- Website: https://www.exitstrategiesradioshow.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cmelette/
PERSON:
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CORWYN:
So good morning. Great morning to you. Welcome to another fabulous episode of Exit Strategies Radio Show. Hey, I’m your host Corwyn J Melette, broker and owner of Exit Realty Lowcountry Group in beautiful North Charleston, South Carolina. Hey, If this is your first time listening to this show, you sir or ma’am are in for a treat. That is because our mission here at Exit Strategies Radio Show is very simple. That is to empower our community through financial literacy, and real estate education. So guys, what we tell you often, what we tell you all the time, is that over here, we’re legacy building. And we want you to be a part of that, because we want you to build your own legacy. See, our Lord tells us and teaches us all the time about that inheritance for our children, and so forth and so on. So that is the basis and the foundation of where we build from right here on this show. We want you to do it not just for you, but for your children’s children, and so forth and so on. So please continue to join us on this journey. So we have been having, we’ve been searching, we’ve been honored to have on this show some amazing people and some amazing guests. Today, we do not break the circuit. Okay, some of y’all that do a little bit of late Show, as you all know, delegate that circuit interrupter, that light switch, turns things on and turns thing off, but look, here we are over here, we got a light switch on, we got our foot on the gas. And we’re continuing to bring you the best people to this show to this platform to help you, to inspire you, to motivate you, but most importantly to engage with you. And today, I am super duper stoked to have with us an author. And I want to share this with you as we introduce. But we’re going to take you back to the basic and bring you back out. We’re going to go back in the room. And we’re going to come back out again because we’re taking you back today. So we have with us an author, motivational speaker, Terry Tucker, Terry, how you doing today?
TERRY:
I am great Corwyn. Thanks for having me on. I’m really looking forward to talking with you today.
CORWYN:
Well, look, I’m super stoked because you’re the man after my own. So first and foremost, let me ask you for our listeners to give a very high level overview of who you are and what it is that you do.
TERRY:
Sure I grew up on the south side of Chicago, I am the oldest of three boys. You can tell this from looking at me or from my voice, but I’m six foot eight inches tall, and actually went to the Citadel on a basketball scholarship, graduating in 1982. After that, I moved home to find a job. I’m really going to date myself now. But this is long before the internet was available to help people find employment. Fortunately, I found that first job in the corporate headquarters of Wendy’s international though hamburger chain in their marketing department. Unfortunately, I live with my parents for the next three and a half years, as my mother cared for my father and my grandmother were both dying of different forms of cancer professionally, as they said, started out at Wendy’s. Then I switched to hospital administration. And then I made a major pivot in my life and became a police officer. And part of what I did during my law enforcement career was I was a SWAT team hostage negotiator. After law enforcement. I started a school security consulting business coach girls high school basketball we lived in Texas, for for the last 11 and a half years have been battling a rare form of cancer, a rare form of melanoma. And then I guess just finally my wife and I have been married for 30 years. We have one child a daughter, who is a graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and as an officer in the new branch of the military, the Space Force.
CORWYN:
That is awesome. So look, I’m gonna take here what I heard in the very beginning, on the south side of Chicago, and the number of brothers that you had first thing I thought about as well, he had to know how to fight.
TERRY:
While I’m the oldest, so yeah, absolutely.
CORWYN:
So Terry, as I alluded to our listeners a little earlier, you’re a person after my own heart, first and foremost, you you’re about overcoming challenges, which is one of the things that we talk about some of the stuff that we talk about on this show, we got to start from somewhere. And when if you’re somewhere where you don’t want to be, then you got to figure out how to get to where you want to be. So you’re a motivational speaker, as well as an author and you really focus on, if you will, the mindset of people’s thought processes and all those things. So if you don’t mind, what kind of got you– One, what inspired you to become a motivational speaker and author? And then what was the catalyst that said, Okay, this is what I want to talk to people about?
TERRY:
Yeah, that’s a great question. I am by nature, a very private individual, it’s hard for me to put myself out there. But if you want to be good in anything, whether it’s business or speaking, or being an author, you have to be authentic, you have to show up and say, This is me, warts and all. You like me, you don’t like me, this is who I am. And I mentioned my father was dying when I graduated from college. And my dad had end stage breast cancer back in the 1980s, when they didn’t know how to treat men with breast cancer. And they pretty much told him to go home and die. And I remember he lived another three and a half years. And Corwyn, I believe he did, because he had a purpose in life, he had something to live for. And he was in real estate. And he actually worked up till two weeks before he died. And so I took that in the back of my mind and said, but it’s my turn in the barrel, so to speak, I need to have a purpose, I need to have something to do. And so when I got cancer back in 2012, and I’ve had all these setbacks along the way, I had my foot amputated in 2018, I had my leg amputated in 2020, I knew I had to have a purpose. And so people were suggesting, hey, you should tell your story. And I was really hesitant, I was very resistant to and, you know, my story is not any different any better than anybody else. But more and more people talked about it. There’s that old joke that says when we talk to God, it’s called prayer. When God talks to us, it’s called schizophrenia. So God has never talked to me. But what I think God does is put people in our path, that start to make the same suggestion over and over again. And that’s what happened with me with writing the book and was speaking. And I just got to a point where it’s like, Well, okay, God, if this is what you want me to do, I’m pretty nervous about it, pretty scared about it, don’t really want to do it. But I’m gonna put myself out there. And that started the speaking business. And it also started me down the road becoming an author
CORWYN:
What I heard in that Terry, was, you had to trust, if he gave it to you, when you had to trust that, okay, you gave this to me to do. So that means I need to do it. But I also need to do it to the best of my abilities, because I have to give my best in this in order for it to be if you will bless. So one, I appreciate you answering that call. Because it’s needed. You speak from a place of overcoming. Every adversity, every challenge that was placed in front of you, quote, unquote, and I appreciate you even opening the door for this in the conversation today. But in job it people told Joe that, well, you should just lay down and curse God and die. You know, I’m saying like, really, but that’s what man will say to you, what man will give you is that, but you have to believe and have a different mindset in order to overcome that. You didn’t do that. So that’s why you’re still here. So you still have purpose. So again, thank you for that, for sharing that and opening that door. So what is it that you do that you believe is different than what others would do in the same situation?
TERRY:
I think it goes back to– For me it started as an athlete. You mentioned my brothers, I play basketball to Senegal. I have a younger brother who pitched for the University of Notre Dame, another brother who was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers the National Basketball Association. So we all played sports in college and my one brother went on after college. And I think what I learned in sports and for me, it was team sports. And I think for me, it was sports. It can be whatever team you’re on, is the importance of being part of something that’s bigger than yourself. You realize on a team that if you don’t do your job, not only do you let yourself down, but you let your teammates down. your coaches down, your fans down, etc. And if you think about it, the biggest team game that we all play is this game of life. And so I learned early when I was 15 years old, I had my first knee surgery and had two more subsequent to that in high school. So the odds of ever playing in college not alone at a division one level were astronomically against me. And I remember when I went back playing basketball, my brain was putting all kinds of negative thoughts into my mind, things like a tear, you’re probably a step slower since your surgeries and college coaches aren’t going to be interested in reaching out. But I remember thinking, Wait a minute, I’m still playing in an elite level. And coaches are still reaching out about the possibility of playing for their college university. I realized I had to change the narrative, I had a callus my mind. And people asked me a lot of times, how do you do that? How do you callus your mind? How do you just not give it or give up when times get tough? And I tell him, it’s real simple. You just do every day, things you don’t want to do. Every day, you should do something that makes you nervous, that scares you. That’s uncomfortable. That’s potentially embarrassing. I need to clean the house, I don’t want to clean the house, I need to study for that test. I don’t want to do that will study for that test. I need to pay the bills. I don’t want to do that. pay the bills, do those small things every day that you find uncomfortable. And if you do that, when the big disasters in life hit us, they hit all of us. We end up getting let go from our job. We break up with our boyfriend or girlfriend, we find out we have a chronic or terminal illness, you’ll be so much more resilient to handle those things when they present themselves in your life.
CORWYN:
That is really interesting. Because as you’re talking Terry, I’m thinking reflecting about so many different things that I’ve heard of people I’ve been talking to, and people going through things and everyone’s disposition differs. Some people get the Okay, this happen. And they’re defeated, that countenance shrinks, they slumped over slouch over. There’s some people that just okay, well, let’s go. And they’re right back in. There is no hesitation, they seemingly don’t miss a beat. And they keep trudging and moving forward. And there is really no difference between the two people other than their thought process. So Terry, if you disagree, please, disagree.
TERRY:
I don’t disagree. You’re absolutely right.
CORWYN:
But I believe that we have the same process to make decisions. Some people just make just get through and faster, that their process is a winning a wallow in this place. We gotta hurry up and expedite it to get to okay, this will be to do and let’s go. Is that fair? So, you know, one of the things that you talk about often is how to you embrace the pain and the suffering and other things that you go through in life and do something with it, so that you quote, unquote, on the backside, come out stronger, and more prepared to deal whatever else life brings to you. So how do you advise that people get around on this my ship.
TERRY:
I’ll give you a story. And this is a story that is from the Citadel from my days in college. One year, we had a president by the name of James Stockdale, and he was an admiral at the time he retired as an admiral, but he was a naval aviator was a fighter pilot during the Vietnam War. And he was shot down in 1965, and spent eight years as a prisoner of war in a prisoner of war camp called the Hanoi Hilton in Vietnam. And he actually won our nation’s highest military award the Medal of Honor for the actions that he took while he was a prisoner of war. And I remember being at an event with Admiral Stockdale, he was the president of college I was a cadet so I did not spend a lot of time around him. But I remember somebody asked him, Who were the people that survived that brutality, that abuse that torture? And it was interesting. He said, Well, let me tell you who didn’t survive. He said, the people who didn’t survive, were the big, tall, strong, tough guys that thought that they could handle any kind of abuse or torture. And this was interesting. He said, The other group that didn’t survive, were the optimists. He said, these were the people that figured that they would be rescued or let go by Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter. And when Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter would come and go. He said those people died of a broken heart. He said the people that survived were the people that understood what they could control in their lives and controlled it. And he said, for us, it was pretty much the air that we were breathing and the thoughts in our minds. He said everything else was at the discretion of the enemy. But I think that’s where people get in trouble. They try to control things, whether it’s financial things, whether it’s family things, whether it’s medical things that they can’t control, that are way outside their purview. And that builds anxiety that builds a soft mind that builds fear. And people quit. And they give up. And I think that what you need to do is understand what you can control in your life and control that and let the rest of the stuff worry about itself, because you have no control over. Why bring all that anxiety, undersell for something that you have no control over.
CORWYN:
So, in that, Terry, I heard the Scripture says, that lead tomorrow worry about itself, sufficient of the day is the evil thereof, there’s enough problems or issues you have to deal with today, to not have to worry or have the anxiety, if you will, about tomorrow. I appreciate that as well. Because, again, this is all mindset, we oftentimes are so engrossed in things that are far yet to come that you have no control over. But the things that you have control over today, if you focus on those, then you have the opportunity to better impact. What your tomorrow, should you be granted a tomorrow, what’s your tomorrow is going to look like. You speak a lot again, from life experiences and stuff. And you share that now your author as well. So what’s the name of your book,
TERRY:
Sustainable Excellence, The 10 Principles To Leading Your Uncommon And Extraordinary Life.
CORWYN:
So 10 principles? Give us one of them.
TERRY:
I’ll give you one and it’s one that in all honesty, it’s in the book, because I’m gonna, I’m not proud of this. I’ve done this many times in my life. And the principle is this. Most people think, with their fears and their insecurities. Instead of using their minds. And I know I’ve done it, I know I’ve wanted to do something or start something. And it’s been like, oh, wait a minute, maybe I don’t have enough information. Or maybe I’m not smart enough. Or what will people think about me if I fail, that’s thinking with our fears, and our insecurities, and Corwyn, I always tell, especially if I speak to a group of young people, I always tell them, if there’s something in your heart, something in your soul that you believe you’re supposed to do, but it scares you. Go ahead and do it. Because at the end of your life, the things that you’re going to regret, are not going to be the things you did, they’re going to be those things you didn’t do. And by then it’s going to be too late to go back and do them.
CORWYN:
That’s very fair, because you certainly the things that two things, if you will regret one of the things you didn’t do that you wanted to, and the things you failed at, that you believe you could have succeeded at, in each of those instances, each of those places. It is fear that was allowed the influence, the income, instead of being the fear, instead of utilizing the fear as a catalyst to say, look, I’m gonna do this. I’m scared to death. And what’s interesting sitting and say that, I’m gonna take you to a couple of recent conversations, because a schoolmate, classmate, friend of my wife’s recently, had swimming lessons. And they had they this is the thing, okay, they’re an adult, they never learned how to swim, they want to learn how to swim. So they, they start taking swim lessons, and they didn’t tell anybody when they was starting to do what they want it. At some point in time, they may mention to a family member, hey, I’m taking swimming lessons. First thing the family member says to him, oh, you can’t swim. When they go back to the next lesson. Now they’re afraid again, it’s like a reset takes place. And we allow people, unfortunately, you know this by far more than I, or Well, I’ll say, you know this, but we allow people to hinder us because of their lack of belief. They don’t know how to swim or maybe they don’t know how to do this, or what have you. You’re learning or you’re approaching it with, okay, I want to overcome, I want to accomplish this. And they will give you something negative, or say something to you, that basically just like hits you like a ton of bricks. And just boom, it freezes. You cause you to stop and hinders you from getting those things that things accomplished. You have a don’t quit attitude, Terry. If you look back and again, South Chicago brothers, you had to learn how to fight so I’m pretty sure you learned pretty early not to quit. But what has caused you to solidify? What was that thing that kind of was the arm being forged and poured into the mold that said, Look, this is how we’re going to live life and moving forward.
TERRY:
I think I learned early on just how important it was to surround myself with people that were better than me. Corwyn, if I didn’t know you but I knew the five people that you hung around with the most. I could tell you all kinds of things about you, what was important in your life. Life, what you valued, what your goals were, what your dreams were, and things like that. So I learned early on that I wanted to be around people that made me smarter, that made me financially better off that made me have better character to be more humble, and not be around. And I think this is the problem, people get into a group, where I call them energy suckers, they just suck the energy right out of you, and right out of the room. And all of a sudden, now you’re around people where it’s all about them. It’s all about drama, it’s all about negativity, and you have no choice but to play along with that, because you’re hanging around with those people. So I always recommend people, if there’s one thing in your life, that’s going to decide whether you’re going to be successful, whether that’s in business, whether that’s as a family, whether that’s in sports, or whatever it is, it’s the people that you surround yourself with, absolutely 100%. If you surround yourself with negative people, you’re going to be a negative person, versus if you surround yourself with positive people. And I think that’s what our parents taught my brothers that I the importance of family, of loving each other of caring for each other, of supporting each other. And I’ve just taken that from mom and dad, and put that into my personal life is my wife, the kind of person, I remember hearing a guy say, if you want to get married, use these two metrics. Number one, are your metrics better? Because you’re in a relationship with this person? Are you smarter? Are you reading more books? Are you financially better off? And number two? Would you go to war with this person? When their bullets were flying? And you were tired and hurt and cold and wet? Would that person still be there for you? Would that person still support you and love you and care about you, even when you weren’t at your best? And if the answer is yes to those two questions, and serious, I mean, there’s other things to consider as well. But consider marrying that individual. But you can apply that same metric, to your personal life to your friends and things like that. So I guess I’ve learned early on that I needed to surround myself with people that made me better. But then then that also puts the onus back on you that you’ve got to make those people better as well, because they’re not gonna want to hang around somebody that doesn’t make them better, as well. But all that just lifts you higher, as opposed to pulling you down in all that negativity.
CORWYN:
That’s a very good point. And I love that because it has to go both ways. You should be challenged in a good way. You shouldn’t be challenged to quote unquote, follow the status quo, the gossiping, the rumor, you should be reading, you should be engaged, you should be doing other things, always about the hang out in the party, and all this other stuff, all the miscellaneous backbiting and those kinds of things, it should be the other way around. It should be the opposite end of the spectrum, where you’re challenged to be better at whatever it is that you do, that you should want to be pushed and challenged to the highest level. If I haven’t hit my goal, then if your friend should be saying, well, what are you doing? And it turned, if they’re not hitting their goals, you should be saying to you, what are you doing? Why are you not working at this? Let’s go I need you to push harder and go. Because otherwise, why are we even doing this? That’s huge. That right? There is another point. It’s like what inmate Terry, the say that? Look, your friend should be there. Through it all. Don’t get me wrong, but it should encourage you to better and you should be doing the same thing for them. So that is massive. That is massive.
TERRY:
Can I add one more thing to that? So I think even take that a step further. Your friends need to be good enough friends, that they love you enough that they’re willing to tell you the truth. Even if that truth is so negative. I want somebody to say to me, Terry, yeah, I know you want to do that. But that’s not good for you. That’s not going to be something positive. But what do we do? When that happens? We ostracize that person, we put them off to the side. It’s Oh, hey, you’re not agreeing with me. We’d like people, we’d like to be hanging around people that are like us, but you need people in your life that are willing to risk the relationship they have with you, because they love you enough to tell you the truth. If you have those people in your life, oh my god, keep them do whatever you need to do to keep them in your life because they are absolutely positively going to make you a better human being because they’re willing to tell you the truth.
CORWYN:
Definitely. So Terry, we are quickly reaching the end of today’s show. For our listeners. How can people get in contact with you? Where can they buy your book? And how can they connect with you to be inspired and motivated to be and I’m gonna share this with you as you get ready to deliver that information. But the CEO of Exit Realty which is company that we have an office if you will under one of the things that she says in resonates with me about we always talk about human beings, but we’re humans become me We’re becoming a better versions of ourselves. So where can people connect with you in order to get plugged in, and to work on becoming better humans?
TERRY:
Sure. So I have a blog. It’s called Motivational Check. Every day I put up a thought for the day on Mondays I put up a Monday morning motivational message of recommendations for books to read, videos to watch, you can leave me a message that’s all at motivationalcheck.com. and Sustainable Excellence is available anywhere you can get a book online, Amazon, Barnes and Noble Apple iBooks. Anywhere you get a book online, you can get Sustainable Excellence.
CORWYN:
Awesome. Awesome. Terry, I greatly appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to be here on the show with us and for dropping those insights for our listeners. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of the Exit Strategies Radio Show Family.
TERRY:
Well, Corwyn, thanks for having me on. I really enjoyed talking with you today.
CORWYN:
Awesome. Awesome. So for our listeners, guys, look, pay, hey, y’all got some notes. Y’all got some hopefully some of that stuff spoke to your spirit today. So you can take this internalize it and make it a part of who you are. as you all move forward with your lives. Guys, look, it’s time to change our mindset so we can get the results that we’re after. Look here y’all know how I feel. Ya know what I say? Ya know, always put the two of those things and always say it to you this way, which is I love and we will see you guys out there on those streets.
